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Hotel Room Horror Story

Author: David Leonhardt

Hotel Room Horror Story
By David Leonhardt

Ever since I began working for that Florida vacation rentals website, I have been plagued by recurring nightmares. I am haunted at night by the spirits of hotel rooms past.

There was a time when I traveled quite a bit on business. Thankfully, I don't hotels hop any more. But at night I float off to a hotel room far away in time...

The day's work done, I phoned home to check up on the kids. It seems there was a shouting match going on in my absence. It sounded like Pandemonium was winning, but Total Bedlam was making some noise, too.

"Can you just quiet down a bit," I said into the phone.

"YOU shut up," I heard the man in the next room growl.

I chose to ignore him. "Come on guys. Can't you just stop fighting for a minute?"

"I'll show you what fighting means" I heard through the wall.

"Geeze. I can't even here myself think," I complained into the phone.

"Hey! I've had just about enough of you," the guy on the other side of the wall screamed.

Suddenly I got very scared. I pictured a burly, six-foot-two weightlifter smashing his fist through the wall. I hung up the phone, wondering how thin the walls were.

Nothing happened. No fist. No smashed wall. No burly, six-foot-two weightlifter.

I decided to go downstairs for a stress-relief stroll. As I was closing my door, the man from the next room emerged.

Fortunately, he was no weightlifter.

I was about to ask him why he had shouted at me through the wall while I was trying to discipline my kids, when he called to me, "Hey you. I was on the phone with my wife. Why did you have to heckle me?"

All of a sudden, I knew how thin the walls were.

In fact, I discovered that hotel walls come in two thicknesses:

If you're lucky, you get "Turn down the volume on your TV!" walls. If you are less fortunate, you get "Turn down the brightness on your TV!" walls.

Fortunately, hotel rooms are immaculately clean. It's true. The sign says so. Just as long as you don't look under the mattress to find a 1976 copy of Businessweek Magazine and theatre tickets to a 1982 showing of The Music Man.

I don't know why hotels pretend to be so spotless. All that junk under the bed could be used as a marketing tool. "Stay at the Hilltop Hilton and join in our under-mattress-scavenger-hunt."

If the hotels don't catch on, sooner or later the motels will. They can turn anything into a sales pitch. Like, for example, "Color TV" (Ooooooohh.). And "Outdoor Pool" (I think the "outdoor" feature is a nice added touch, don't you?) And how about "Free Parking" (which is really a way of saying, "You don't have to park your car in your room.").

What worries me most about hotels is what they keep in the drawers. Did you ever notice there is always a bible in the drawer? Why?

When you buy a car, there is no bible in the glove compartment, although the road is where you need prayers the most.

When you dig for the prize at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box, it's never a bible.

Even in hospitals, where a prayer might be all you have left, there is no bible in the drawer.

Only in hotels and on death row do bibles come as standard equipment.

And why just the Bible? I have had plenty of spare time to search for Torahs and Korans in hotel rooms, and I have never found any. Do Jews and Muslims not stay in hotels? What do they know that I don't?

Fortunately, I don't have to stay in hotels anymore. I don't have to endure shadow-puppet shows from the guy on the other side of the wall. I don't have to keep from reading over his shoulder. I don't have worry about what he ate for dinner.

And I don't have to listen to his snoring. I can enjoy my own nightmares in peace.

About the Author

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
And A Daily Dose of Happiness:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/daily-happiness-free-ezine.html
He also writes personal growth articles:
http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html
And sells liquid vitamins:
http://www.vitamin-supplements-store.net

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Foam Pillows are Changing the way the World Sleeps

Author: Dr. Joseph J. Berke, Ph.D.

For countless people worldwide, getting a good night�s sleep on a regular basis is an elusive, if not almost impossible, goal. The causes for this malady are numerous, and could consist of overwork, stress, pain, a sleep disorder, and the list goes on. While some people may require a physician�s assistance in developing a normal sleep pattern, many Americans have found great benefit by merely changing one or more of their bedding products.

Of all the different pillows available, memory foam pillows are becoming increasingly popular. The reason for this is simple; these pillows have time and time again been proven to work miracles. Memory foam pillows are attributed for helping in the reduction of snoring, which increases sleep quality not only for the individual suffering from the condition, but for others who have to sleep in the vicinity. In addition, memory foam pillows have also been proven effective because they carefully align the body correctly in order for the sleeper to gain a quality sleep and dream pattern.

Perhaps one of the most effective memory foam pillows is the contour pillow. This pillow is designed specifically to comfortably mold to an individual�s head and neck shape, regardless of whether they prefer to sleep on their side, stomach, or back. The subtle alignment that this pillow provides allows for the opening of airway passages, therefore increasing the flow of oxygen throughout the body during sleep. This feature significantly reduces snoring and can assist those who suffer from sleep disorders in which oxygen has been found to be reduced through the relaxation of throat muscles during sleep. Another fabulous feature of this type of pillow is that it relieves pressure on the spine through the careful alignment of the head and neck. In fact, numerous people who have constant neck and back pain wake up finding that these pillows greatly reduce and even eliminate their pain.

There are a variety of manufacturers and names for memory foam pillows. Some of the more popular are Swedish foam pillows, Tempura pillows, Tempur pillows, Tempurpedic pillows, and Therapedic pillows. Some of these are made from a specific type of foam developed by Nasa. All incorporate the use of materials that are proven to comfortably and accurately align with your head and neck, as well as retaining the memory of your individual shape.

Swedish foam pillows are often categorized as being the first, and according to many people, the best of this innovative design. The majority of companies who make memory foam pillows have a variety of designs that have proven beneficial to remedying a variety of ailments; such as a cervical pillow, maternity pillow, reading pillow, and even a full-body pillow.

If you have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, or if you tend to use your arms to support your head to fall asleep, use more than one pillow, use rolled towels for head and neck support, or fold your pillow, you should consider trying one of these memory foam pillows. Countless Americans and people the world over have experienced a miraculous change in their sleep patterns after just one night of use. Changing a pillow is a small price to pay for quality sleep every night, versus struggling to fall asleep and tossing and turning the night away!

About The Author

Dr. Joseph J. Berke, M.D., Ph.D.

Discover how sleeping on The Better Sleep Pillow can change your life.

Visit: http://www.bettersleeppillow.com

Dr. Joseph J. Berke is an author and inventor dedicated to helping people get a better night rest. articles@bettersleeppillow.com

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Five Point Plan for Promotion

Author: Pamela Heywood

There are no secrets: there are no magic formulas. Forget about
making money fast while you sleep. Sure, you can automate
processes so that your business continues to operate while you
are snoring away, but there is no substitute for your initial
application and hard work.

That's the bad news. The good news is that it isn't difficult.
The even better news is that most of it can be done for FREE.

OK, assuming that you have built a website appropriate to your
business (no, one of those self-replicating ones will NOT do!)
and that you are publishing a regular ezine. Both need content:
both need quality, but there's plenty of help out there to
achieve it.

Now what you need is traffic, or in less technical terms, people
looking at your site, your business, what you have to offer.

How?

Every single day we are bombarded with plans and schemes which
claim to beat the system, drive masses of traffic to your site,
make you rich overnight, all your dreams come true so that
you'll live happily ever after. All similarities to a fairy-tale
are decidedly intentional.

It is confusing. Where do you start?

Now I am not saying that these things don't work, except the ones
which are undoubtedly scams! Generally, every single one will
give you some benefit, some link out there, but no single one is
the magic answer. No matter what they claim. Doing them all will
take time, but if you work through methodically, each and every
one will help you in some way.

So to eliminate some of the confusion, here is my Five Point Plan
for organising your promotion and traffic building efforts. It
isn't the be-all and end-all either, but it is a good, organised
start to a regular process. Incorporate one item from each step
each and every single day and you will keep making a little
progress and after a while it becomes self-perpetuating.

1. Build subscribers to your newsletter and keep sending them
back to your site for something; offers, content, freebies. These
will be your best customers: your best sales force. Concentrate
on building rapport with them and above all make it real easy for
them to recommend your site. Consider http://recommend-it.com and
give them an incentive for doing so.

2. Submit to search engines once a month. Your daily chore is to
ensure that your site is fresh, your META tags in place, your
links live, etc. I recommend http://SelfPromotion.com You can use
it for FREE or pay a small amount to have your details kept in
the system to simplify repeat submissions. You will find all the
information and guidance you'll ever need right there and this
service works. You get listed.

3. Concentrate on getting reciprocal links with other sites which
are similar to and complimentary to yours. There are specialist
directories for finding people who want to swap links, try
http://www.swap-resources.com or use the search engines and find
out who is linked to your competitors. Write and propose swaps to
the webmasters. You'll get as much, if not more, targeted traffic
from these links than you will from the search engines, plus
having links back to your site will improve your ranking on the
latter because of the way the link-popularity algorithms work.
Make sure those who link to you are listed on the search engines.
Do it for them if they are not.

4. Once a day, submit classifieds ads, promotion to lists and
newsgroups (only where appropriate).

5. Repeat steps 1-4 incessantly.

About the Author

Pamela Heywood is webmistress of http://www.tucats-design.com
- Building Your Online Business Instinctively. Subscribe to the
weekly TuCats Mewsletter (sic) mailto:subscribe@tucats-design.com
and get regular FREE hints, tips, articles and resources.

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