Snoring

Back To Snippet


Back To SITEMAP

Mike�s Dating Story

Author: Devlyn Steele

(Black Couch Tales)

Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed.

�Coach,� he said. �I need to get out of my relationship.�

Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn�t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find �the One�. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.

Today�s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn�t want to be with. He told me his story.

�I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.�

For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, �We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least�the first six months were a blast�really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.�

Mike�s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, �After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest�this is sort of rough to admit�I wasn�t interested in a thing she had to say.�

�Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed�it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear�it made me nuts.�

He sighed. �I�m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.�

Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. �We need to break up and it�s been a long time coming anyhow. I�m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It�s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I�m 38 and I still haven�t figured it out.�

Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we �end up in� rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!

But eventually the �chemical reaction� of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don�t know that well. In Mike�s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn�t stand to be around.

This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.

Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.

Does this �more informed� method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is �No!�

Just like physical attraction alone isn�t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won�t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.

But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You�ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.

What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It�s not the holy grail of dating, but it�s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.

You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.

Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.

About the Author

Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host. Devlyn has also developed ToolsToLife.com. As a Relationship-Coach Devlyn has created the http://www.OnlineDatingKit.com which teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own and offers a complementary e-book at no cost on �How To Choose The Right Dating Site For You.�

...

Snoring

Back To Snippet


Back To SITEMAP

Mike�s Dating Story

Author: Devlyn Steele

(Black Couch Tales)

Mike was completely stressed when he walked into my office last week. Taking a long drink of water, he slumped onto my black leather couch and sighed.

�Coach,� he said. �I need to get out of my relationship.�

Mike is 38 years old and a successful screenwriter. Mike was also perpetually single with a long history of failed relationships. His situation is typical: he wasn�t necessary afraid of something long-term, he just could never find �the One�. Mike could never stay in a romantic situation for long before moving to something new.

Today�s session was no different. Once again he found himself feeling stuck with someone he didn�t want to be with. He told me his story.

�I met Lexy about a year ago. I was at a bar and there she was. She looked awesome and had a great smile. I was attracted and I just had to get to know her.�

For Mike it always started with physical attraction. He continued, �We really hit it off. The next thing you know, we are heavily involved. Things were great at least�the first six months were a blast�really fun. I think I gained ten pounds though. My buddy calls it the Love Diet. You stop going to the gym, order in, and stay in bed day and night.�

Mike�s enthusiasm began to fade as he said, �After the first six months things slowly started to change. We started to get to know each other outside of the bedroom. The more we talked, the more I realized that I had nothing in common with her. And to be honest�this is sort of rough to admit�I wasn�t interested in a thing she had to say.�

�Our relationship became tense at worst and polite at best. Little things started to bug me. The way she chewed her food drove me insane. The way she laughed�it was this high-pitched squeal that I think only dogs could hear�it made me nuts.�

He sighed. �I�m getting on her nerves too. Last week Lexy nearly shoved me out of bed because she said I was snoring too loud.�

Mike straightened up and locked eyes with me. �We need to break up and it�s been a long time coming anyhow. I�m okay with that. But what I really need to figure out is: what the heck is going on in my relationships? It�s always the same. Is it me? Am I meeting the right women? I�m 38 and I still haven�t figured it out.�

Dating often starts as a chance meeting where physical attraction leads us to relationships we �end up in� rather than a choice we stop and think about. We get caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. We give in to the rush!

But eventually the �chemical reaction� of attraction begins to sputter. The excitement fades and we often find ourselves with a person we don�t know that well. In Mike�s case, he realized he was with someone he couldn�t stand to be around.

This leads us to online dating. There are aspects of character and personality that will create a bond beyond the initial stage of attraction, and online dating allows us to go beyond the chance meeting, beyond the physical attraction. We can search out potential matches that we might never meet in our everyday lives. With the click of a mouse we have access to a wealth of information: interests, hobbies, passions, lifestyle, beliefs, and more.

Online dating allows us to approach dating from an entirely different angle. Instead of getting to know someone from the outside-in, we can establish a relationship from the inside-out.

Does this �more informed� method your romantic life lead to a more compatible and satisfying relationship? Unfortunately the answer is �No!�

Just like physical attraction alone isn�t enough to carry a long-term relationship, having things in common alone won�t satisfy you. You still need physical attraction. You may find tons of people online who will seem perfect. Then you meet face-to-face and you know in a split-second that this person is not for you. You never really know what will happen until you meet.

But imagine if you are attracted! The reason you decided to meet in the first place was because you have things in common and your personalities meshed. You�ve already laid the foundation to take your dating beyond the physical.

What online dating really offers is opportunity to find and communicate with lots of people with whom we share common interests and qualities. It�s not the holy grail of dating, but it�s an excellent way to increase your chances of finding something long-term.

You may still have to go on many dates to find your match, but that is why the Internet is so exciting! There are always new people to find, and always the opportunity for that next date.

Mike is currently online dating and loving it! I encourage you to give it a try for yourself.

About the Author

Devlyn Steele ("America's Leading Life-Coach") is a Relationship Coach, Life Coach. A Columnist as well as radio host. Devlyn has also developed ToolsToLife.com. As a Relationship-Coach Devlyn has created the http://www.OnlineDatingKit.com which teaches Internet daters the skills they need to find their perfect matches on their own and offers a complementary e-book at no cost on �How To Choose The Right Dating Site For You.�

...

Snoring

Back To Snippet


Back To SITEMAP

Internet Tip of the Week: Information Overload

Author: Bob Osgoodby

We receive so much information on the Internet, especially via email, that many times we have difficulty separating the good "stuff" from the junk. Most of us put unsolicited email (spam) in the junk category. By the time we weed through all that "stuff" however, we are approaching information overload, and may give "short shrift" to the really good information we receive.

One way to overcome this very real problem, is to create email filters for things you may wish to read at a future time. For example, create a generic filter for the ezines or newsletters you subscribe to, or one for each. This will then automatically separate this good "stuff" from the junk. You can then keep your "inbox" clean and read the information at your leisure when you are less harried.

Use your email filters to weed out the junk. It only takes a moment or so to create a filter, and this will keep all the repeat spam out of your inbox. The best way to filter spam, is not to filter on the senders email address. Most of these are forged anyway, and are different every time. Pick out some "key words" contained in the body of the message. "Stop Snoring, Own an offshore retirement fund, $16,000+ with ONE $20 gift" just to name a few. Filter out those emails that match your key words.

Some of the spam is one time only and you don't need to be concerned with that. One way to do it, is to create a folder titled "Spam". Every day, instead of simply deleting them, transfer them to this folder. If you see a pattern developing, you can easily pick out the worst offenders, and create a filter for them.

When you subscribe to an ezine or newsletter, don't make a summary judgment that you don't want it. Most publishers try to provide a "variety" of items, and it may take several issues before you both click. Like a baseball player, don't expect a "homerun" every time at bat. Give it a half-dozen or so issues before making up your mind. You may simply get an issue that doesn't appeal to you, but the next might be a winner.

Some people go so far as to set up a separate email account just for their personal use, and another for their ezines, which is not a bad idea. But, if you do this, for goodness sake remember which one you used. Most publishers use list servers for their mailings. You can't unsubscribe from a publication except from the address that they have on file. To prevent the "cranksters" from running amok, they require you to be signed on the address they have on file in order to be removed.

If you decide you don't want a particular publication any longer, try to unsubscribe, and if you get a message that you are not on the list, it does little good to rant and rave. If you're not there, you're not there - period. While most publishers don't want people on their list who don't wish to receive it, they have no idea what email address you used when subscribing.

Most publishers will make an honest effort to remove you from their list, and threats to report them for spamming, will not help them to remove you. The majority of the time the people who complain are using a free email account, and are automatically forwarding the mail to their main address. To compound matters, they forgot they are doing this, and get aggravated when they can't unsubscribe under their main email address.

If you are receiving a publication and cannot unsubscribe, filter their publication automatically into your trash basket. This will save you and the publisher a lot of aggravation.

There is a great deal of information on the Internet. If you approach it wisely, you will benefit. If you don't, you may be suffering from information overload, and deleting some really good information mixed in with all the junk mail you receive.

Did you know that subscribers to Bob Osgoodby's Free Ezine the "Tip of the Day" get a Free Ad for their Business at his Web Site? Great Business and Computer Tips � Monday. Wednesday. and Friday. Instructions on how to place an ad are in the Newsletter.

Subscribe at: http://adv-marketing.com/business/subscribe2.htm.

...